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- Who's to blame: the parent or the child?
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| Who's to blame: the parent or the child? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 7 2012, 04:57 PM (2,623 Views) | |
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Jan 7 2012, 04:57 PM Post #1 |
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So guys, who do you think is to blame for the bad behavior of children? The children themselves, or the parents? This is a pretty tough topic, because chances are, if you are a child/teen, you'll probably blame it on the parents, and if you are a parent, you'll probably blame it on the children, because I admit that it is hard to find fault in yourself and admit it. This is why I ask that you try to remain as unbiased as possible and try to keep some reasonable arguments. My opinion is that unless a child has a mental problem or external force acting on them, then it is most likely the parent's fault for their bad behavior. If a child is beaten, abused, neglected, or yelled at, then they will most likely have some terrible behavior. However, if they are taught right from wrong, given a normal household, given reasonable punishments, and not spoiled, they should grow up as a pretty well-adjusted person. The only time a child would have good parents and still act out would be if some other thing (ie a bully, mean caretaker, death of loved one, etc...) were affecting them. So what do you think? |
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| + Dan | Jan 7 2012, 05:03 PM Post #2 |
Better than Red.
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You can't just say that it is the parents or the childs fault, there are a lot of factors that could make a child misbehave. The environment that they grow up in for one. You could have perfectly lovely parents but if you grow up with people who aren't a good child, then that will have a knock on effect to you. Basically peer pressure. So to blame just the parent or the child is a huge mistake. This is all in my opinion of course. |
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Is it too late to tell you that I don't mind. Keep Calm And Chupa No Pilau        
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| DanielSan | Jan 7 2012, 05:36 PM Post #3 |
 
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Too many reasons to really call it. Sometimes it is the parents in some problems. If they didn't teach the child not to do that and just let him go around doing anything he wants then it would be at the parents fault. The parents have some control over what they want to do. Now other times it is the children, when they are mostly older. The parents can be very good and teach them everything but sometimes the child just does things their way and doesn't care. I personally believe it is a mix of both of them. |
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Jan 7 2012, 06:17 PM Post #4 |
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It's always the parent's fault when a child has behavior issues unless the child has something mentally wrong with them. That's how I look at it. A good parent can always tame a hyperactive child. |
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| + Pelador | Jan 7 2012, 07:41 PM Post #5 |
Crazy Awesome Legend
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I'm not so sure it's as clear cut as that. There's plenty of terrible parents who's children grow up to be good people and the other way around. Sometimes if one lives in a poor, rough area then it's very difficult for a child not to turn to the dark side. After all, it's human nature to conform. So if everyone around you is a thug, chances are you'll be a thug too. Regardless of how your parents try to bring you up. |
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Jan 7 2012, 08:14 PM Post #6 |
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True, but I've just had it with this generation's parenting skills. It's ridiculous. Getting kids iPods when they're 5 years old? And cell phones? I've seen more brats in my lifetime than I care to ever see. 
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| + Green | Jan 7 2012, 09:43 PM Post #7 |
Flashy Thing!
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I think peer pressure has a very strong influence on anyone's behavior but i wouldn't completely consider it a source[1] One thing i study a lot is the effect of the Social Learning Theory[2] on childhood behavior[3]. The Social Learning Theory says that behavior is learned (copied). Parents, older siblings, friends, successful people's behavior is copied based on a child's subjective understanding of the behavior seen. I'm going to stop myself here before i end up writing an essay Basically lots of studies show that one factor (Parents, child, peer pressure, etc.) alone can't definitively predict behavior. Multiple factors, even factors such as; income,race/ethnicity, stress level, and history of abuse can determine violent or non-violent behavior in a person. [1] Behavior> Dominate Behavior> Peer pressure to conform to dominate behavior [2] Sociology [3] Did 2 presentations on it last semester |
   Don't you ever worry that you're on the Devil's side without even knowing it? - DCI John Luther Black power ranger; I do not belong... B.o.B - Mr. Mister | |
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| + Steve | Jan 7 2012, 10:06 PM Post #8 |
Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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Without any other factor I'd say 50/50 for blame. Yeah parents should teach you not to do bad things blah blah blah but if someone offers you drugs or asks if you want to vandalise something it's only up to the person to say no. Being in a totaly sheltered life doesn't guarantee that any child won't commit crime. I was always brought up to have nice manners and not get do anything wrong was the perfect little child. And then I got taken to the police station for arson a few years back, I don't blame it on my mum(dad lives away) I'm the one that wanted to so that's my fault. I was also always told to never start smoking or do anything with fire, still did. There's not much a parent can do unless they want to follow their child literally everywhere and not let them have friends, which is a bit too much. With mental illness it can be the parents fault too, some just don't bother getting help my old next door neighbours son is quite obviously autistic in a bad way and is always hitting people for no reason stuff like that. They never bother to get help for him though if anyone mentions it they just say he's fine, maybe it's because they're too proud to admit something is wrong with their child but that doesn't mean it's not their fault they could easily get help. If it's something like ADHD then that's different that can be pretty hard to diagnose and the child can just seem regularly naughty which goes on to later life obviously so there are probably many cases when that is not found out so the parents get the blame It's never just down to the parent or the child though either way. |
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| TrunksinSwimmingTrunks | Jan 7 2012, 11:03 PM Post #9 |
Formerly known as daman
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Imo most behaviour is mostly environmental-either due to the influences of parents or teachers/friends/others who live around you who you might watch, be intimidated by or be directed by. This is just an environment vs genetics debate. Genetics can have an effect on the mind, like if one separated twin is depressed the other is more than 50% likely to get depressed at some point too. |
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| SirParagon | Jan 7 2012, 11:24 PM Post #10 |
Sparking!
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The child is never to blame because the child's behavior is a direct reflection of parental influence/neglect. Similar to what wolffanghameha mentioned, the genetic aspect only accounts for about 25% of a child's tendencies, basically in which direction a child is more easily pushed. In other words, people shouldn't be surprised when their children turn out violent if they were frequently hit or threatened to be hit. No kid is born a 'brat'. Edited by SirParagon, Jan 7 2012, 11:33 PM.
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| + Pelador | Jan 7 2012, 11:33 PM Post #11 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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My parents were hit and frequently hit and I'm not violent and neither are my brothers. My dad used to get the belt across the back of the knees. |
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| SirParagon | Jan 7 2012, 11:37 PM Post #12 |
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Sparking!
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Violence in parenting can have varied effects, I was hit/threaten a lot too (regrettably) and as a result I have a shockingly short temper in specific situations. Whether you turned out 'fine' subjectively is not the point, it's whether you would have turned out better. There are always better solutions to a problem than taking a belt to it, if you could even call that a solution. Edited by SirParagon, Jan 7 2012, 11:41 PM.
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| + Pelador | Jan 7 2012, 11:43 PM Post #13 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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I agree. Physical parenting does seem to lead to children having shorter tempers. Whereas non physical can create an almost pacifist like child. There are always exceptions of course. However if you look at the upbringings of serial killers and violent offenders, it becomes clear that they were not raised to the best standards. |
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| Mihawk | Jan 7 2012, 11:47 PM Post #14 |
 
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Of course it's not always the parent's fault, there are many environments that parents can't control such as school. If a kid is barred out from all other environments that allow for conditioning then the outcome would still only be partially their parents fault because of genetics. |
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| SirParagon | Jan 7 2012, 11:54 PM Post #15 |
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Sparking!
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It's important for a child to experience a multitude of environments and experiences, it's also important for parents to be always close by for guidance so that the child knows how to react instead of having to figure things out for themselves (usually poorly, which is to be expected). Sending a young child to a day-care/pre-school without any familiar company is not a good idea.
Edited by SirParagon, Jan 7 2012, 11:56 PM.
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